The Routine of it All

MAY 3, 2014
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Children crave order. As a young adult, it was difficult for me to grasp this concept. But it seemed to be in all the books and magazines I read about parenting. I just didn’t know where to begin. I had never established order. Everything I read assumed that I had the perfect life with beautiful decor and lots of functional furniture spread throughout a lovely home. Well — let’s just say that wasn’t my testimony. I lived in a two bedroom apartment without furniture; our clothes were in huge trash bags, life’s necessities were in boxes, and I had a little boy looking at everything I did wondering where his daddy was.

How was I supposed to create order now? I thought I would be one of two parents, but everything had changed so quickly. I didn’t know where to begin. But there he was, staring up at me like I had all the answers. “Lord,” I prayed, “I don’t know what to do. Please help us!”

And He answered. I began to write out schedules – mine and his. I got up each day and together we began following our schedule. Over time, I noticed that when we followed our schedule, my son was very agreeable. He was all boy, but manageable. But when our schedule changed, he was irritable, cranky and hard to handle. And those were the days when I felt like a failure at being a good mommy. I would yell, scream and spank and it didn’t seem to phase him. I, on the other hand, felt like a crazed fool. At those moments, everyone was at fault except me. BUT – on those days that we kept our schedule, he was a different child. Still all boy, but he listened, he was happy and giggly, he was my sweet little boy.

Over time I learned that routines establish order and peace in a child’s life. I could almost predict his behavior by the order of the day. Which also helped me to be more patient with him when I knew that our routine would be different on a particular day. And on those totally unpredictable days, when nothing would proceed as planned, I would ask God to help me manage his and my attitude. Some days, I didn’t go to Him soon enough, but I learned.

By the time I had my daughter, I was older, wiser, and understood the importance of routines. She was a very different child. And she loved the routines until she turned 10, but I’ll save that story for another time.

​Wherever you are in your parenting journey, ask Jesus to lead you in writing out a routine that fits your life. You will find that everything from making beds to bedtime preparation becomes less tedious when you and your child(ren) know what to expect and it helps them to take on responsibility one task at a time.